The one where I'm socially awkward.

I never know how to act around people I just met. Or barley met. Or hardley know.
Most of my close friends couldn't stand me the first time they met me.
Yes, this includes the love of my life, a Mr. Elias Hernandez.
But I guess it goes back to high school......
Insert flashback noise from Waynes World.....no? Moving on.
I was a terrible person back in high school. I mean wow. Just awful. My mouth is what got the best of me. Either horrible rumors and gossip behind people back, or snarky sarcastic remarks in front if people I was MEAN! Whenever I met someone, I could not look past their faults. Anyone. If I saw someone I would automatically think of something I don't like about them. It was bad.
Eventually I let God take care of me. By the end of senior year I had done some damage control and cut some fat from my friends. I ended up with only 3 friends at my high school. Yup 3. That's it.
Love those three girls. You know who you are.
So, in letting God get a hold of my heart I learned some hard truths. One, I really didn't like myself. Anything about myself. I guess I shouldn't used past tense.....well....okay I mean.....I'm better. Like I don't want you to think....I don't know how to explain this....
To be fair the title did warn you about the awkwardness.
I like the person God is making me into. But every now and then, old Elisa creeps back in. And there go those negative thoughts.

So why am I socailly awkward?
When I get around a new group of people heres what I think:
1. Who do I want to be around these people? (Funny, smart, artsy, girly, ditsy, witty, independant, or a mixture of Elisa's)
2. How can I make it so when people won't talk about me behind my back? (This comes from years of damage of talking mad you-know-what behind my new peoples backs.)
3. How can I do all of this without being too obvious and awkward?

Hmmm. Someone has taken their daily ounce of crazy today.

There it is.
I don't know why I wrote this. :)
But there I am in a nutshell. All exposed and raw out there for the world to see.
Enjoy my friends, enjoy.

The one with hallway.

I don't have an idea for this blog. That is why it's been a month or so since my last blog. In all transparency, I was working on a longer blog that I was updating daily about my decision to sign my contract or not for next school year. But then I ended up signing it and it's truly not an interesting blog. It was just like: "Should I? Nah. Well? Okay. Nah. Okay I will. I signed it. The end." So, now we're here, just waiting until the end of the year to finish and I am on the hook for next year. I could still leave, but breaking a contract not only gives me hives because of the ethic implications, but also there is a $2,500 fee attached to that which is NOT in my summer budget currently. I am tired of teaching. But to be fair, it is April and I am ALWAYS tired of teaching in April. But I will say this April is different. Education is different. It's changed. A part of me knows that I will be called out of teaching soon. I don't see myself retiring as...

The one post-pandemic.

It's been 84 years since my last blog post. Obviously not literally, but anything after March 2020 has its own timeline-- much like a kind of Marvelesque quantum universe. Yeah. I'm out of my league with this line of thought. I should probably just move on. I want to catch up you up on so many things! (I say to no one reading this). First of all, Elias and I had a second baby in November of 2020: Uriah Finn. He's awesome, but also crazy. Leo started Kinder in August of 2022. I am still working at the same school. And Elias is working in my district with the IT department. Yes. That's right. Elias is an IT nerd now. I love having him at our district and on our schedule. Feeling super thankful about all of that. Those are the highlights. Of course, there have been some low lights. Why did I start this re-reboot now? I've been feeling some feelings. Some sad feelings. I've been going through bouts of depression again. And it's weird to talk about. I don...

The one with the really fun English teacher.

I've discussed the mom thing enough. You're probably like "Okay. We get it. You're bad at this. Move on." Will do! Let's discuss something I am relatively okay at: teaching. This is currently year 5 in the classroom for me. I've been at my current high school for 3 of those years teaching mostly 11th grade English, (every once in a while they like to throw in a sophomore or a senior group). I love this class. The age, the content, the behavior, the literature- everything. This is my sweet spot. I honestly have been sitting on this blog post for over 4 weeks now, in this exact spot. I have NO idea how I want to shape this blog or even begin to talk about my love for education. Management? Content? Students? English? Parents? Environment? Professional Development? There are literally so many things to talk about with education, that I've had the worst time narrowing down what it is I want to discuss in my first education themed blog. I w...

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