The one I'm pushing through.

Remember when I kept up with my blog?
More importantly: remember when I thought I was going to simplify this year?

I told you all I was going to keep things focused on 1 word: simple. My life, my goals, my home, my job, my thoughts- KEEP IT SIMPLE.

Have I done that at all?
If you think that I have, you must be new here.

It's literally one month away from being 2019, and I have been anything but simple this year.

I changed schools. We continued to gather clutter. We have yet to get a grip on our finances. I still overthink every little thing I do. My house is a constant disaster area. My new school has been a challenge at every step. Personal challenges and relationships have been a struggle. I have done everything except keep it "simple" this year.

In every sense of my "simple" goal, I failed.

Sure, I have a month left. So I could get back on track. I could try my best to simplify what I can.

But sometimes, I feel like I try so hard to NOT try so hard.
What is that?
It's not a new concept. But it's something with which I have always had a hard time.

I guess I don't know where this blog is going- much like most of my blogs. I just write because I have something on my mind and they just sort of take me where they take me.

I guess, life just isn't simple. Not saying you can't take steps to make it less complicated. I just don't think will ever be a simple thinker, a simple mother, a simple wife, a simple teacher.
I just won't.
Life isn't supposed to be easy and simple.

So maybe my word wasn't what I needed this year.
Maybe we don't need a focus word.
Trying to focus on one thing, can distract from all the beautiful things that happen all year long.

Photo by: TuckerPayneCo

The one where I'm socially awkward.

I never know how to act around people I just met. Or barley met. Or hardley know. Most of my close friends couldn't stand me the first time they met me. Yes, this includes the love of my life, a Mr. Elias Hernandez. But I guess it goes back to high school...... Insert flashback noise from Waynes World.....no? Moving on. I was a terrible person back in high school. I mean wow. Just awful. My mouth is what got the best of me. Either horrible rumors and gossip behind people back, or snarky sarcastic remarks in front if people I was MEAN! Whenever I met someone, I could not look past their faults. Anyone. If I saw someone I would automatically think of something I don't like about them. It was bad. Eventually I let God take care of me. By the end of senior year I had done some damage control and cut some fat from my friends. I ended up with only 3 friends at my high school. Yup 3. That's it. Love those three girls. You know who you are. So, in letting God get a hold of ...

The one with the really fun English teacher.

I've discussed the mom thing enough. You're probably like "Okay. We get it. You're bad at this. Move on." Will do! Let's discuss something I am relatively okay at: teaching. This is currently year 5 in the classroom for me. I've been at my current high school for 3 of those years teaching mostly 11th grade English, (every once in a while they like to throw in a sophomore or a senior group). I love this class. The age, the content, the behavior, the literature- everything. This is my sweet spot. I honestly have been sitting on this blog post for over 4 weeks now, in this exact spot. I have NO idea how I want to shape this blog or even begin to talk about my love for education. Management? Content? Students? English? Parents? Environment? Professional Development? There are literally so many things to talk about with education, that I've had the worst time narrowing down what it is I want to discuss in my first education themed blog. I w...

The one with sleep, whatever that is.

Parents. Remember your "exhaustion" prior to having kids? I miss that. I remember looking at parents around me and thinking, "Dang, they complain about being tired all the time. Can having a kid really be THAT taxing on a person?" Oh, how I wish I could take back those thoughts! And I just have the ONE kid. I can't even imagine more! Let me back up a little. Since week one, until about month 7, Leo has slept in bed with us. We, of course, did it as safely as recommended by doctors and such. I feel like I always need that caveat because y'all moms and non moms out there trip over the littlest details, I swear. We weren't planning on doing the co-sleeping thing, we just kind of fell into it. It worked with nursing, it helped me not worry too much about his breathing patterns, and it was really sweet to cuddle my sweet boy all night. For those wondering how Elias felt, he actually made the initial suggestion to do it, so there ya go. So it wor...

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