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The one where Elisa is a wack job.

I know full well that I JUST wrote a blog, not even 4 hours ago. I'm not one to blog about every little feeling that comes their way.
No no. That's why I have FaceBook.
But I can't sleep. I've been going through a writing stage again. Blessing and a curse.
I've been thinking about how some people my age, (20-somethings) they just can't seem to find their own person. So they keep finding themselves in others. And they are different around every single group of people. And they never have just....them.
Which obviously let me to think: what have I been doing? Do I have my own person? Or am I just little pieces of people from my life put together?
Do I have any definite things in my life that will NOT change no matter who I'm around?

Yes, a few:
1. I know that I know that I KNOW! that my God, is the One True God. He sent His son Jesus into this earth to save this mess of a person, and I CANNOT spend one day without His infinite love. Number one on list forever, no matter who is around.

2. I will never compromise my morals: Sex can wait for marriage, and stay in marriage. Drugs, will not be in my body. I will NEVER get drunk and I will save alcohol until I'm 21. My speech will be clean and set an example. I will work hard and never take the easy way out.

3. I love. Yup. People, my family, Elias, my friends, you who are reading this, teachers, future students, ect. I love.

That's the basics.
I change, no not just daily, hourly...by the minute.
I'm a walking contridiction.
Isn't that the starburst commercial?
I'm peaceful and I fight.
I'm forgiving and I hold grudges.
I'm humble and proud.
I'm self-concious and self-absorbed.
I'm outgoing and introverted.
I'm shy and bubbily.
I'm a hard-worker and lazy.
I'm deep and surface level.
I'm tolertant and judgemental.
I'm cute and awkward.
I'm weird and normal.
I'm republican and democrat.
I'm Casting Crowns and Maylene and the Sons of Disaster.
I'm night owl and early bird.
I'm "tell it like it is" and "keep my mouth shut."
I'm hot and I'm cold. I'm yes and I'm no. I'm in and I'm out I'm up and I'm down. I'm wrong when I'm right. I'm back and I'm white. I fight I break up I kiss I make up. I don't really wanna stay no. I don't really wanna go-o.........

I'm being selfish for thinking I'm the only 20-something to EVER feel this way. To feel like "who am I....?" Usually it's because they don't know what they wanna be. I know what I wanna do career-wise. And for that matter, who I want to be in the future.
Refer to a couple blogs down.
I just don't know what's going down at this second in my brain and life in general.






Welcome to the mess that is, Elisa Marie Gomez.


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