The one where Elisa is a wack job.

I know full well that I JUST wrote a blog, not even 4 hours ago. I'm not one to blog about every little feeling that comes their way.
No no. That's why I have FaceBook.
But I can't sleep. I've been going through a writing stage again. Blessing and a curse.
I've been thinking about how some people my age, (20-somethings) they just can't seem to find their own person. So they keep finding themselves in others. And they are different around every single group of people. And they never have just....them.
Which obviously let me to think: what have I been doing? Do I have my own person? Or am I just little pieces of people from my life put together?
Do I have any definite things in my life that will NOT change no matter who I'm around?

Yes, a few:
1. I know that I know that I KNOW! that my God, is the One True God. He sent His son Jesus into this earth to save this mess of a person, and I CANNOT spend one day without His infinite love. Number one on list forever, no matter who is around.

2. I will never compromise my morals: Sex can wait for marriage, and stay in marriage. Drugs, will not be in my body. I will NEVER get drunk and I will save alcohol until I'm 21. My speech will be clean and set an example. I will work hard and never take the easy way out.

3. I love. Yup. People, my family, Elias, my friends, you who are reading this, teachers, future students, ect. I love.

That's the basics.
I change, no not just daily, hourly...by the minute.
I'm a walking contridiction.
Isn't that the starburst commercial?
I'm peaceful and I fight.
I'm forgiving and I hold grudges.
I'm humble and proud.
I'm self-concious and self-absorbed.
I'm outgoing and introverted.
I'm shy and bubbily.
I'm a hard-worker and lazy.
I'm deep and surface level.
I'm tolertant and judgemental.
I'm cute and awkward.
I'm weird and normal.
I'm republican and democrat.
I'm Casting Crowns and Maylene and the Sons of Disaster.
I'm night owl and early bird.
I'm "tell it like it is" and "keep my mouth shut."
I'm hot and I'm cold. I'm yes and I'm no. I'm in and I'm out I'm up and I'm down. I'm wrong when I'm right. I'm back and I'm white. I fight I break up I kiss I make up. I don't really wanna stay no. I don't really wanna go-o.........

I'm being selfish for thinking I'm the only 20-something to EVER feel this way. To feel like "who am I....?" Usually it's because they don't know what they wanna be. I know what I wanna do career-wise. And for that matter, who I want to be in the future.
Refer to a couple blogs down.
I just don't know what's going down at this second in my brain and life in general.

Welcome to the mess that is, Elisa Marie Gomez.

No way she still is out here blogging like it's 2012.

Actually, yes she is. And she is NOT sorry. Slight update: I’ve been homeschooling and microschooling for the past couple years. I started my middle and high school microschool in my home in August 2024 and began homeschooling my boys simultaneously in August 2025. Now sitting here in January 2026, having done both for a full semester, and that feels great! This has been really great for myself and my husband, and my kids! So by all metrics, when people ask me how I am, the answer should be “ GREAT!” And normally it is. But the current world events feel really heavy. The tumultuous circumstances that continue, are hard to ignore and especially hard to not let it get you down. So that dichotomy between personally doing well and globally feeling like we are all falling apart has got me feeling really ✨reflective. ✨ Also, I learned recently that those sparkle emojis are a sign that AI is being used. Y’all. If you think any part of this is AI, you really don’t know me at all. An...

Mom, Musicals, and Mary Poppins

I’ve been thinking a lot about my mom lately. Probably because the anniversary of her death is coming up this month. March is always a lot: Leo's birthday, our wedding anniversary, her death anniversary. Wait. I also just realized November is similarly a lot: Uriah's birthday, my birthday, and my mom's birthday. Why can't huge life events we have no control over be more spread out throughout the year? Anyway. My mom loved musicals. LOVED musicals. Most people knew her as an amazing educator for children with special needs, as that was her career about which she was so passionate. But prior to that, she did a lot of local theater-- even making her way into Knott's Berry Farm's Birdcage Theater as a performer. Not sure what her role was, but I once saw a picture of her some red, saloon girl getup and didn't want anymore information, for the sake of my innocence. But yes, musicals and theater in general were something she enjoyed watching as well as being in!...

The one with pie.

This title is a little misleading. This blog will actually be about work. You know, that thing we all look forward to having a day off from. It’s still weird to think that I have an actual “career.” I mean, not as weird as being a parent, but still a strange concept for a person who still doesn’t feel like she’s made it into the adult world. This is my 5th year as a full time classroom teacher. It’s definitely not been easy. I’ve been through anxiety, depression, coming in early, staying super late, grading on any free time I have, crying on my lunch breaks, quitting mid year, parent complaints, thousands of hours of professional development, long term sub problems, breaking up fights, de-escalating situations, sassy teenagers, hormonal teenagers, emotional teenagers, hard situations, mandatory reporting, and of course getting BARELY above the minimum wage for all of this. I don’t go through that list to get pity or sympathy or encouragement. I go through this to let ...

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