The one where we Bust a Move.

The infamous song by Young MC, Bust A Move, is playing on my pandora right now.

I'm reading a new Donald Miller book called Through The Painted Desert. I haven't gotten to far in it yet, but he brings up a good point. He says "Everyone needs change, or they expire." That got me thinking about my leaving home and going to GCU. I haven't really wanted to make it a big deal. But heres the thing, I've been living in the same house since I was 7. The longest I've been away from my family is 3 weeks. Yes, I AM going home on the weekends, which is probably why I didn't really want to make a big deal out of it, but it is.

Am I scared?
Is change too much for me?
Is it really that big of deal?

Probably.

I don't really want to make a big deal out of this. But it kinda is. I mean, I quit my job that I LOVED. I'm living with someone who isn't my family. I'm having my OWN place. I have new responsiblities. Trying new thing I've never done before.
Bust a move!
The only thing that is really keeping my head on straight is the fact that I know I have Someone that has it all under control. I think that's why God allows change, for our faith to be put into practice. Faith that, He's got this. Donald Miller goes on to say one word: "Leave." It keeps resonanting in my head, like some crazy 90's song. Leave. Leave. Leave.
Bust a move!
Leave. Leave. So that's what I'm doing. It's crazy, and nerve racking, and exciting, and kinda makes me want to vomit a little. But I have faith.

So what should I do?
Bust a move.

The one with the middle.

You remember that Jimmy Eat World song: The Middle? It feels very applicable to me. And, have you heard the Paramore song: Caught in the Middle? Also applicable. It's been two months since this school year started. I wish I could say it's getting better. I wish I could say it's been a good year so far. But it's been a really tough year of teaching already. It's really no one's fault- students, admin, parents- it has nothing really to do with them. It's just been, tough. I feel like honestly, it's kind of a waste of energy trying to pinpoint one problem that I am having, when in reality- it's possible that I am not supposed to be doing this anymore. Okay. I feel like I should be a teacher. But I don't know if I should be doing this . Does that even make sense? Probably not. I just feel really stuck at this moment. Because I want to do a good job while I am here, but I also am waiting for what I am meaning to do next. I want to serve my curren

The one with hallway.

I don't have an idea for this blog. That is why it's been a month or so since my last blog. In all transparency, I was working on a longer blog that I was updating daily about my decision to sign my contract or not for next school year. But then I ended up signing it and it's truly not an interesting blog. It was just like: "Should I? Nah. Well? Okay. Nah. Okay I will. I signed it. The end." So, now we're here, just waiting until the end of the year to finish and I am on the hook for next year. I could still leave, but breaking a contract not only gives me hives because of the ethic implications, but also there is a $2,500 fee attached to that which is NOT in my summer budget currently. I am tired of teaching. But to be fair, it is April and I am ALWAYS tired of teaching in April. But I will say this April is different. Education is different. It's changed. A part of me knows that I will be called out of teaching soon. I don't see myself retiring as

The one where I join the blog world.

I figure it's about time I started a blog. It's a writing/photography/comediac/art/important issues/look-what-kind-of-crazy-stuff-is-happening-in-Elisa's-life blog. It's my everything blog. Awesome for blogging. So welcome! Enjoy! Comment! Feel the love. This is my absolute favorite picture. Elias Hernandez. My model/musician/rock. How beautiful life is..... Frreak. Frreak. More to come.

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