The one where I say "passion" like 80 times.

I've been dealing a lot lately with the idea of passions. And my recent lack of passion.
It's not that I don't have any passion. On the contrary, I have tons of passions that include:

Teaching. Since I was little I knew that education is power and being that person who shapes and impacts other people for the better, has always been something I've passionate about. There's just something about a classroom that just gets to me. It's something special and exciting that I can't wait to have one day.

Photography. I freaking love pictures. I love capturing a single moment, candid or posed. I know full well the extent that the photography industry has gone to today has made me self consicous when it somes to my photography skills and ablities. But, I guess that makes me work harder. But it never has felt like work, even when I get paid, it still doesn't feel like work.

Acting. If I could get back to these roots, oh man. As I stated in an earlier blog, I love theater. I love the idea of being on stage. I love the concept of creating another person and being that person. I miss it. And let's be honest, theater kids are pretty stinkin awesome.

Writing. I'm not pro AT ALL. But I like literature. And, call me a nerd, I like to study all different types of literature. That's why I wanna be an English teacher.

Traveling. I LOVE road trips! I love different places. I love getting away. I mentioned before, in earlier blogs, that when most people want an escape they use drugs, alcohol and other things. I actually want to literally escape, and leave. I get stir crazy. I can't stay in the same place doing the same thing for too long or I go insane. So I just get urges to get up and leave.

Ministry. Specifically youth ministry. Gosh I love the crazies. Something about that age group. I feel like I have NO wisdom to share. But somehow God is like "You're doing good. Keep going!" If you have never worked with youth, you are missing out! I mean, you get to be goofy and talk about Justin Bieber and play dodgeball! What could be better than that?!

God. I kept God and ministry seperate purposely. My relationship with God and my ministry absolutely go hand in hand. However, God is the ultimate foundation for my passions. All my other passions mean NOTHING if this isn't first. God comes first. Period.

This barely scratches the surfaces.

So I guess what it is, is that I'm not making time for my passions. As much as I like school and my classes, their not my passion. As much as I like making money, my job is not my passion. And all the other junk that fills up my day, not my passion.
So that's why I've been feeling passion-less lately.

All I wanna do is take pictures, teach, write, act, travel, love God and love people.
Is that too much to ask?

Debbie Downer strikes again.

No way she still is out here blogging like it's 2012.

Actually, yes she is. And she is NOT sorry. Slight update: I’ve been homeschooling and microschooling for the past couple years. I started my middle and high school microschool in my home in August 2024 and began homeschooling my boys simultaneously in August 2025. Now sitting here in January 2026, having done both for a full semester, and that feels great! This has been really great for myself and my husband, and my kids! So by all metrics, when people ask me how I am, the answer should be “ GREAT!” And normally it is. But the current world events feel really heavy. The tumultuous circumstances that continue, are hard to ignore and especially hard to not let it get you down. So that dichotomy between personally doing well and globally feeling like we are all falling apart has got me feeling really ✨reflective. ✨ Also, I learned recently that those sparkle emojis are a sign that AI is being used. Y’all. If you think any part of this is AI, you really don’t know me at all. An...

Mom, Musicals, and Mary Poppins

I’ve been thinking a lot about my mom lately. Probably because the anniversary of her death is coming up this month. March is always a lot: Leo's birthday, our wedding anniversary, her death anniversary. Wait. I also just realized November is similarly a lot: Uriah's birthday, my birthday, and my mom's birthday. Why can't huge life events we have no control over be more spread out throughout the year? Anyway. My mom loved musicals. LOVED musicals. Most people knew her as an amazing educator for children with special needs, as that was her career about which she was so passionate. But prior to that, she did a lot of local theater-- even making her way into Knott's Berry Farm's Birdcage Theater as a performer. Not sure what her role was, but I once saw a picture of her some red, saloon girl getup and didn't want anymore information, for the sake of my innocence. But yes, musicals and theater in general were something she enjoyed watching as well as being in!...

The one with hallway.

I don't have an idea for this blog. That is why it's been a month or so since my last blog. In all transparency, I was working on a longer blog that I was updating daily about my decision to sign my contract or not for next school year. But then I ended up signing it and it's truly not an interesting blog. It was just like: "Should I? Nah. Well? Okay. Nah. Okay I will. I signed it. The end." So, now we're here, just waiting until the end of the year to finish and I am on the hook for next year. I could still leave, but breaking a contract not only gives me hives because of the ethic implications, but also there is a $2,500 fee attached to that which is NOT in my summer budget currently. I am tired of teaching. But to be fair, it is April and I am ALWAYS tired of teaching in April. But I will say this April is different. Education is different. It's changed. A part of me knows that I will be called out of teaching soon. I don't see myself retiring as...

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