The one where I say "passion" like 80 times.

I've been dealing a lot lately with the idea of passions. And my recent lack of passion.
It's not that I don't have any passion. On the contrary, I have tons of passions that include:

Teaching. Since I was little I knew that education is power and being that person who shapes and impacts other people for the better, has always been something I've passionate about. There's just something about a classroom that just gets to me. It's something special and exciting that I can't wait to have one day.

Photography. I freaking love pictures. I love capturing a single moment, candid or posed. I know full well the extent that the photography industry has gone to today has made me self consicous when it somes to my photography skills and ablities. But, I guess that makes me work harder. But it never has felt like work, even when I get paid, it still doesn't feel like work.

Acting. If I could get back to these roots, oh man. As I stated in an earlier blog, I love theater. I love the idea of being on stage. I love the concept of creating another person and being that person. I miss it. And let's be honest, theater kids are pretty stinkin awesome.

Writing. I'm not pro AT ALL. But I like literature. And, call me a nerd, I like to study all different types of literature. That's why I wanna be an English teacher.

Traveling. I LOVE road trips! I love different places. I love getting away. I mentioned before, in earlier blogs, that when most people want an escape they use drugs, alcohol and other things. I actually want to literally escape, and leave. I get stir crazy. I can't stay in the same place doing the same thing for too long or I go insane. So I just get urges to get up and leave.

Ministry. Specifically youth ministry. Gosh I love the crazies. Something about that age group. I feel like I have NO wisdom to share. But somehow God is like "You're doing good. Keep going!" If you have never worked with youth, you are missing out! I mean, you get to be goofy and talk about Justin Bieber and play dodgeball! What could be better than that?!

God. I kept God and ministry seperate purposely. My relationship with God and my ministry absolutely go hand in hand. However, God is the ultimate foundation for my passions. All my other passions mean NOTHING if this isn't first. God comes first. Period.

This barely scratches the surfaces.

So I guess what it is, is that I'm not making time for my passions. As much as I like school and my classes, their not my passion. As much as I like making money, my job is not my passion. And all the other junk that fills up my day, not my passion.
So that's why I've been feeling passion-less lately.

All I wanna do is take pictures, teach, write, act, travel, love God and love people.
Is that too much to ask?

Debbie Downer strikes again.

The one with hallway.

I don't have an idea for this blog. That is why it's been a month or so since my last blog. In all transparency, I was working on a longer blog that I was updating daily about my decision to sign my contract or not for next school year. But then I ended up signing it and it's truly not an interesting blog. It was just like: "Should I? Nah. Well? Okay. Nah. Okay I will. I signed it. The end." So, now we're here, just waiting until the end of the year to finish and I am on the hook for next year. I could still leave, but breaking a contract not only gives me hives because of the ethic implications, but also there is a $2,500 fee attached to that which is NOT in my summer budget currently. I am tired of teaching. But to be fair, it is April and I am ALWAYS tired of teaching in April. But I will say this April is different. Education is different. It's changed. A part of me knows that I will be called out of teaching soon. I don't see myself retiring as...

The one post-pandemic.

It's been 84 years since my last blog post. Obviously not literally, but anything after March 2020 has its own timeline-- much like a kind of Marvelesque quantum universe. Yeah. I'm out of my league with this line of thought. I should probably just move on. I want to catch up you up on so many things! (I say to no one reading this). First of all, Elias and I had a second baby in November of 2020: Uriah Finn. He's awesome, but also crazy. Leo started Kinder in August of 2022. I am still working at the same school. And Elias is working in my district with the IT department. Yes. That's right. Elias is an IT nerd now. I love having him at our district and on our schedule. Feeling super thankful about all of that. Those are the highlights. Of course, there have been some low lights. Why did I start this re-reboot now? I've been feeling some feelings. Some sad feelings. I've been going through bouts of depression again. And it's weird to talk about. I don...

The one with the really fun English teacher.

I've discussed the mom thing enough. You're probably like "Okay. We get it. You're bad at this. Move on." Will do! Let's discuss something I am relatively okay at: teaching. This is currently year 5 in the classroom for me. I've been at my current high school for 3 of those years teaching mostly 11th grade English, (every once in a while they like to throw in a sophomore or a senior group). I love this class. The age, the content, the behavior, the literature- everything. This is my sweet spot. I honestly have been sitting on this blog post for over 4 weeks now, in this exact spot. I have NO idea how I want to shape this blog or even begin to talk about my love for education. Management? Content? Students? English? Parents? Environment? Professional Development? There are literally so many things to talk about with education, that I've had the worst time narrowing down what it is I want to discuss in my first education themed blog. I w...

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