Skip to main content

The one with my postitrons becoming negatized.

I'm always trying to stay positive. As I'm sure you all are too. Because the easy thing for everyone to do is complain, because there is ALWAYS something to complain about. In everything you do, it's easy to pick out the flaws. Even if you absolutely love your job, or your school, or whatever it is you do on a daily basis there is STILL going to be something to dwell on and complain about.
Where is this going Elisa? 
Well, I will tell you where this is going, inner thoughts.
I've been trying to figure out a way to combat that negativity. But in doing so, I end up finding that fighting negativity ends with more negativity. And therefore, I become a super annoying neagtive person, leading me to be the complete opposite of what I wanted to be.
Try to keep up please.
So instead of fighting against the negativity I try to just replace being negative with being positive. Every time I think of something negative, I replace that thought with a Bible verse, or a quote from an awesome motivational pastor or author, or listen to some worship songs. Now, let me be clear, this DOES work. I found my attitude turning around almost instantly about 99% of the time.
But here was my dilema: I find myself being....fake? I'm not sure if that's the right word, but I felt that I was "lying" to myself?
I'm putting question marks there on purpose.
I shouldn't have to lie to myself. Right? If I'm in a bad mood, maybe I need to just admit it and be in a bad mood.
If I wanna complain about something, should I just do it?
How do I stay postitve and keep it real at the same time?
How can I "keep it real" and not become jaded?
Is there a happy medium between the heartless cynic and the deliriously optimistic?

I guess the main thing I'm scared of is not being what I was made to be. Who God intended me to be.  Just when I had the "who I am" thing down, I go and think about stuff and screw it all up.....again.

Didn't I ever tell you? I suck at growing up.

Popular posts from this blog

The one where I'm socially awkward.

I never know how to act around people I just met. Or barley met. Or hardley know. Most of my close friends couldn't stand me the first time they met me. Yes, this includes the love of my life, a Mr. Elias Hernandez. But I guess it goes back to high school...... Insert flashback noise from Waynes World.....no? Moving on. I was a terrible person back in high school. I mean wow. Just awful. My mouth is what got the best of me. Either horrible rumors and gossip behind people back, or snarky sarcastic remarks in front if people I was MEAN! Whenever I met someone, I could not look past their faults. Anyone. If I saw someone I would automatically think of something I don't like about them. It was bad. Eventually I let God take care of me. By the end of senior year I had done some damage control and cut some fat from my friends. I ended up with only 3 friends at my high school. Yup 3. That's it. Love those three girls. You know who you are. So, in letting God get a hold of ...

The one with the really fun English teacher.

I've discussed the mom thing enough. You're probably like "Okay. We get it. You're bad at this. Move on." Will do! Let's discuss something I am relatively okay at: teaching. This is currently year 5 in the classroom for me. I've been at my current high school for 3 of those years teaching mostly 11th grade English, (every once in a while they like to throw in a sophomore or a senior group). I love this class. The age, the content, the behavior, the literature- everything. This is my sweet spot. I honestly have been sitting on this blog post for over 4 weeks now, in this exact spot. I have NO idea how I want to shape this blog or even begin to talk about my love for education. Management? Content? Students? English? Parents? Environment? Professional Development? There are literally so many things to talk about with education, that I've had the worst time narrowing down what it is I want to discuss in my first education themed blog. I w...

The one with sleep, whatever that is.

Parents. Remember your "exhaustion" prior to having kids? I miss that.  I remember looking at parents around me and thinking, "Dang, they complain about being tired all the time. Can having a kid really be THAT taxing on a person?" Oh, how I wish I could take back those thoughts! And I just have the ONE kid. I can't even imagine more!  Let me back up a little. Since week one, until about month 7, Leo has slept in bed with us. We, of course, did it as safely as recommended by doctors and such. I feel like I always need that caveat because y'all moms and non moms out there trip over the littlest details, I swear. We weren't planning on doing the co-sleeping thing, we just kind of fell into it. It worked with nursing, it helped me not worry too much about his breathing patterns, and it was really sweet to cuddle my sweet boy all night. For those wondering how Elias felt, he actually made the initial suggestion to do it, so there ya go.  So it wor...