Parents. Remember your "exhaustion" prior to having kids? I miss that.
I remember looking at parents around me and thinking, "Dang, they complain about being tired all the time. Can having a kid really be THAT taxing on a person?"
Oh, how I wish I could take back those thoughts! And I just have the ONE kid. I can't even imagine more!
Let me back up a little. Since week one, until about month 7, Leo has slept in bed with us. We, of course, did it as safely as recommended by doctors and such.
I feel like I always need that caveat because y'all moms and non moms out there trip over the littlest details, I swear.
We weren't planning on doing the co-sleeping thing, we just kind of fell into it. It worked with nursing, it helped me not worry too much about his breathing patterns, and it was really sweet to cuddle my sweet boy all night. For those wondering how Elias felt, he actually made the initial suggestion to do it, so there ya go.
So it worked for us. All three of us got sleep, and we had no complaints. Well, turns out, babies grow. Who would've thought?! And our little lion man's tall legs started making it impossible for me to get comfortable. So the decision was made to put him in his own crib- a place to which he had never slept in.
Not to get into the whole process, but basically I read everything I could, I got him used to it, I worried a lot, he cried a lot, and long story short, our baby was falling asleep in his own crib with very little fussing within a couple days! AND sleeping through the night nonetheless.
We have our bed back! I declared it everywhere! We were so excited! We had a blissful (almost) 2 weeks sleeping all night in our own beds.
Well turns out, there's a reason Leo's nickname is "The Boss." HE decides when he sleeps through the night.
Last night, he woke around 1:00. Not really like him to do. But, I've been able to get him to sleep pretty easily by doing the pat and the "shush." So I went in, did it. He fought it. I waited 10 minutes. Same thing. He was not having it. Alright, let's try the boob. He nursed, he started to fall asleep.
"Uh oh! Can't fall asleep while nursing," says the internet. "That's a sleep association and those are WRONG!"
So I take him off the boob, and try to put him in his crib "still awake." Because- the experts and the internet both say that's the best way. Which is what we've been doing.
He fights and cries and cries.
Elias tries it now.
Not nursing him! Believe me, if he could that would make my life a whole lot easier. Also, a whole stranger. But that's neither here nor there.
Elias gets a little closer than me, but Leo is. Not. Having. It.
So guess what happened.
Yes. Little man ended up in our bed once again.
I remember looking at parents around me and thinking, "Dang, they complain about being tired all the time. Can having a kid really be THAT taxing on a person?"
Oh, how I wish I could take back those thoughts! And I just have the ONE kid. I can't even imagine more!
Let me back up a little. Since week one, until about month 7, Leo has slept in bed with us. We, of course, did it as safely as recommended by doctors and such.
I feel like I always need that caveat because y'all moms and non moms out there trip over the littlest details, I swear.
We weren't planning on doing the co-sleeping thing, we just kind of fell into it. It worked with nursing, it helped me not worry too much about his breathing patterns, and it was really sweet to cuddle my sweet boy all night. For those wondering how Elias felt, he actually made the initial suggestion to do it, so there ya go.
So it worked for us. All three of us got sleep, and we had no complaints. Well, turns out, babies grow. Who would've thought?! And our little lion man's tall legs started making it impossible for me to get comfortable. So the decision was made to put him in his own crib- a place to which he had never slept in.
Not to get into the whole process, but basically I read everything I could, I got him used to it, I worried a lot, he cried a lot, and long story short, our baby was falling asleep in his own crib with very little fussing within a couple days! AND sleeping through the night nonetheless.
We have our bed back! I declared it everywhere! We were so excited! We had a blissful (almost) 2 weeks sleeping all night in our own beds.
Well turns out, there's a reason Leo's nickname is "The Boss." HE decides when he sleeps through the night.
Last night, he woke around 1:00. Not really like him to do. But, I've been able to get him to sleep pretty easily by doing the pat and the "shush." So I went in, did it. He fought it. I waited 10 minutes. Same thing. He was not having it. Alright, let's try the boob. He nursed, he started to fall asleep.
"Uh oh! Can't fall asleep while nursing," says the internet. "That's a sleep association and those are WRONG!"
So I take him off the boob, and try to put him in his crib "still awake." Because- the experts and the internet both say that's the best way. Which is what we've been doing.
He fights and cries and cries.
Elias tries it now.
Not nursing him! Believe me, if he could that would make my life a whole lot easier. Also, a whole stranger. But that's neither here nor there.
Elias gets a little closer than me, but Leo is. Not. Having. It.
So guess what happened.
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| This was actually taken several weeks before last night, but I wanted you to get the idea. |
"Wow. Well you really screwed the pooch, guys," says the internet/experts. "You definitely shouldn't have added one of those sleep associations back."
Hey. Internet. Shut it.
I honestly don't care what you all think about our parenting decisions. Do you realize what a big step that is for ME to NOT CARE about other's opinions of myself? It's huge! If I had this baby a couple years ago, I would have been so stressed out about what everyone would have thought about my parenting choices.
Listen, you can tell me all day that we did the wrong thing, and he is going to be stuck in our bed forever, and we're creating a clingy child. I've heard all these things and more. But, I'm not going to let it affect me.
And you shouldn't either! Don't let anything anyone says affect your decisions as a parent.
That's YOUR kid. Take advice, or don't! Being a parent means your constantly being hard on yourself, you don't need other people to be hard on you too. Most of those people who are hard on you are well-meaning, but even the best intentions come out the other end looking like judgement.
Do we have all the answers? I think I've made it pretty clear that I don't have ANY answers. But maybe there is no right answer. What a post modern, millennial thing to say. And don't get me wrong, I am always on the side of absolute truth rather than subjective truth. However, I just feel like maybe we should stop characterizing parenting decisions as right and wrong.
Unless your decisions put your child in clear harm, go with that parental instinct! Yeah, you're gonna second guess it, and you may not even follow through with it, but it's there. I believe God has given parents with everything they need to raise a child.
Keep your child in bed with you, put them in their own crib, let them cry it out, pick them up every time they cry, do it all, or none of it- just DON'T let people tell YOU how to do that.
So if you're reading this, running off of only a couple hours of sleep: hang in there. You are awesome.
You're doing amazing sweetie.
Do we have all the answers? I think I've made it pretty clear that I don't have ANY answers. But maybe there is no right answer. What a post modern, millennial thing to say. And don't get me wrong, I am always on the side of absolute truth rather than subjective truth. However, I just feel like maybe we should stop characterizing parenting decisions as right and wrong.
Unless your decisions put your child in clear harm, go with that parental instinct! Yeah, you're gonna second guess it, and you may not even follow through with it, but it's there. I believe God has given parents with everything they need to raise a child.
Keep your child in bed with you, put them in their own crib, let them cry it out, pick them up every time they cry, do it all, or none of it- just DON'T let people tell YOU how to do that.
So if you're reading this, running off of only a couple hours of sleep: hang in there. You are awesome.
You're doing amazing sweetie.