This title is a little misleading. This blog will actually be about work. You know, that thing we all look forward to having a day off from.
It’s still weird to think that I have an actual “career.” I mean, not as weird as being a parent, but still a strange concept for a person who still doesn’t feel like she’s made it into the adult world.
This is my 5th year as a full time classroom teacher. It’s definitely not been easy. I’ve been through anxiety, depression, coming in early, staying super late, grading on any free time I have, crying on my lunch breaks, quitting mid year, parent complaints, thousands of hours of professional development, long term sub problems, breaking up fights, de-escalating situations, sassy teenagers, hormonal teenagers, emotional teenagers, hard situations, mandatory reporting, and of course getting BARELY above the minimum wage for all of this.
I don’t go through that list to get pity or sympathy or encouragement. I go through this to let you know that DESPITE all that, I love my job. I love teaching. Yeah some days I hate it. Some days, I wish I could leave and get some job that makes more money, that is less work, or preferably both. But even on those days, I love teaching. I know, this is what I was made to do. And even though I daydream about what it would be like to make above a livable wage, and have some extra free time and money to go on vacations, I’m not planning on abandoning my job anytime soon.
I also have a second full time job that I’m never clocked out from. Mama.
This is my first year as a full time Mama. And it has DEFINITELY not been easy. Similarly, I’ve been through anxiety, depression, waking up early, staying up late, sleep deprivation, not eating 3 meals a day, not having any free time, feeling locked up at home, constantly having a messy home, crying randomly, wanting to quit, no real training, disgusting diapers, spit up, fussy baby, teething baby, needy baby, growing baby, constantly nursing baby, and of course, LOSING money for all of this.
Again, I’m not trying to complain or get sympathy. I say this to to let you know, that as much as I love my teaching job, I love being a mama more. I love what I do. Yeah, sometimes I daydream about having free time, having some extra money, being able to go out with our friends, and being able to go to a restaurant without praying that our baby doesn’t make a scene. But even with that, I would NEVER go back to not being a mama. You couldn’t pay me enough to not be a mama to my little boy.
The problem is the balance of these two full time jobs. I don’t if you know this, but giving 100% to 2 things is impossible. Mathematically speaking, there’s no such thing as 200%. And, if you’re like me, there may be more than 2 things you want to give 100% to- being a wife, being an attentive friend, church youth ministry. That’s like 500% guys. Something has to give. Even if you love them all, something will fall by the wayside is one way or another.
You should know by now, I don’t have any solutions to this problem. If I did, this blog post would be the most popular among working parents everywhere and I would go on Ellen with my "15 steps to prioritize your life" and become one of those popular Instagram moms that is followed by other moms and there would be all this pressure to post just the most Instagrammable aspects of my life and then I would be stressed, and anxious and we would be right back to where I started.
Yikes.
So, yeah, I have no solutions. Here’s what I know:
But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Matthew 6:33
Cliche right? I get it. I know it’s obvious. But maybe, just maybe, we can live like the promises of His Word are true. He promises that if we seek Him first all the rest of the stuff will come together. We don’t need to worry about the percentages we’re giving to others, if we’re giving 100% to just Him.
Think of a pie chart. Thanksgiving is coming up, so our brain is already programmed to think of pie. In most of our lives we think of our time as giving a certain percentage to each aspect: 20% to work, 20% to ministry/God stuff, 20% to my spouse, 20% to my kid, 10% to my friends and family. Is that 100%? I don’t know. Math is hard
If we want to live in His promises and truly have peace in our lives our pie chart should just be a filled in circle: 100% God.
We don’t need to worry about how much time we spend with our work, and our other percentages, if we devote ourselves to spending time with Him.
So I guess I’m aware of the solution. It’s not MY solution, but it is THE solution. Please don’t make this post too famous. I don’t know if I can handle the Instagram fame. But I would DEFINITELY be posting some pictures of pie.