The one with (no) follow through

"I am happier than a teacher on summer break!"
-someone who has never taught.

This is my 6th summer break as a full time teacher. And I should be thrilled to be on summer break, right?! I'm just not though. Here's my issue: I want to do so much. SO MUCH.

I want to write.
I want to read.
I want to plan.
I want to study.
I want to chill.
I want to sleep.
I want to work out.
I want to hang with friends.
I want to teach my toddler things.
I want to date my husband.
I want to clean.
I want to eat healthy.
I want to meal prep.
I want to start a project.
I want to FINISH a project.
I want to practice self care.
I want doing creative stuff.
I want to do some work stuff.

And I want to start AND FINISH it all right now!
But it's such a huge list, that I get overwhelmed and don't do any of it. I always feel like "I have all summer!" And then-
I feel like you don't have to be super observant to know what's coming-
SUMMER ENDS, with me not having accomplished anything on said list.

But this problem isn't exclusive to teachers or students in the summer.

When we want to accomplish something with a loose timeline, things get put on the back burner.
Side note: back burner is a reference I've never really understood. One, because ya girl don't cook. And two, does the back burner like not get as hot or something?? I feel like the back burner still does just the same job as the front burner, right? I digress.
A loose timeline is never great for me to get something done. I mean, let's be real, a TIGHT timeline BARELY works with me already.

I know my goals and dreams are important to pursue. I know they should be on the "front burner" or whatever. I just can never seem to do what the experts call "follow through."

So how do we fix it? How do we solve it?

I know you don't come to these blogs expecting answers; devotees will know this is a no answer zone.

But with that being said, I don't think we solve this issue. I think we just do the best with the goals we can accomplish, when we can accomplish them. Our lists will get a check when we get to it. All the burners will eventually get...cooked?
This is why I should stick with a metaphor I know something about.

Is this really how I'm ending this blog? Meh. I'll finish it eventually.

;)

The one with the middle.

You remember that Jimmy Eat World song: The Middle? It feels very applicable to me. And, have you heard the Paramore song: Caught in the Middle? Also applicable. It's been two months since this school year started. I wish I could say it's getting better. I wish I could say it's been a good year so far. But it's been a really tough year of teaching already. It's really no one's fault- students, admin, parents- it has nothing really to do with them. It's just been, tough. I feel like honestly, it's kind of a waste of energy trying to pinpoint one problem that I am having, when in reality- it's possible that I am not supposed to be doing this anymore. Okay. I feel like I should be a teacher. But I don't know if I should be doing this . Does that even make sense? Probably not. I just feel really stuck at this moment. Because I want to do a good job while I am here, but I also am waiting for what I am meaning to do next. I want to serve my curren

The one with hallway.

I don't have an idea for this blog. That is why it's been a month or so since my last blog. In all transparency, I was working on a longer blog that I was updating daily about my decision to sign my contract or not for next school year. But then I ended up signing it and it's truly not an interesting blog. It was just like: "Should I? Nah. Well? Okay. Nah. Okay I will. I signed it. The end." So, now we're here, just waiting until the end of the year to finish and I am on the hook for next year. I could still leave, but breaking a contract not only gives me hives because of the ethic implications, but also there is a $2,500 fee attached to that which is NOT in my summer budget currently. I am tired of teaching. But to be fair, it is April and I am ALWAYS tired of teaching in April. But I will say this April is different. Education is different. It's changed. A part of me knows that I will be called out of teaching soon. I don't see myself retiring as

The one where I join the blog world.

I figure it's about time I started a blog. It's a writing/photography/comediac/art/important issues/look-what-kind-of-crazy-stuff-is-happening-in-Elisa's-life blog. It's my everything blog. Awesome for blogging. So welcome! Enjoy! Comment! Feel the love. This is my absolute favorite picture. Elias Hernandez. My model/musician/rock. How beautiful life is..... Frreak. Frreak. More to come.

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