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The one with the middle.

You remember that Jimmy Eat World song: The Middle? It feels very applicable to me. And, have you heard the Paramore song: Caught in the Middle? Also applicable. 

It's been two months since this school year started. I wish I could say it's getting better. I wish I could say it's been a good year so far. But it's been a really tough year of teaching already. It's really no one's fault- students, admin, parents- it has nothing really to do with them. It's just been, tough. 

I feel like honestly, it's kind of a waste of energy trying to pinpoint one problem that I am having, when in reality- it's possible that I am not supposed to be doing this anymore.

Okay. I feel like I should be a teacher. But I don't know if I should be doing this. 

Does that even make sense? Probably not. 

I just feel really stuck at this moment. Because I want to do a good job while I am here, but I also am waiting for what I am meaning to do next. I want to serve my current students the best I can, but I also am ready for the school year to end and go to my next thing.

What is my next thing? 

Not sure if I want to talk about it HERE, quite yet. I get really shy about sharing what I want to do. I just don't want to put it out there, and then it not work out and look really dumb. Only because that is how things have worked out for me in the past. I get REALLY excited about something, and then I tell everyone, and then it just kinda fizzles out and doesn't work out. 

And if this thing that I am thinking about doesn't work out, I know it is not God's plan for me or my family. 

But if it DOES work out, then it's only because of God and what He wants done. Which will pan out even better than anything I could ever plan on my own. And it will be BIG. And it will be wonderful. And it will help SO many people. 

So right now, though- I feel very caught in the middle of where I am going, and where I have been. But I am learning to be thankful for all of it. I'm truly trying to be thankful for the difficult stuff. It's literally only September. So I am trying to make it through this year, and come out with lessons as well as a new journey ready to go. 

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle

I try to keep going but it's not that simple

I think I'm a little bit caught in the middle

Gotta keep going or they'll call me a quitter

Yeah, I'm caught in the middle


Live right now
Yeah, just be yourself
It doesn't matter if it's good enough (good enough)
For someone else
It just takes some time
Little girl, you're in the middle of the ride
Everything, everything'll be just fine
Everything, everything'll be alright, alright


Seeing Paramore with Elias. 



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