Actually, yes she is. And she is NOT sorry.
Also, I learned recently that those sparkle emojis are a sign that AI is being used. Y’all. If you think any part of this is AI, you really don’t know me at all. And also, AI could never replicate the true disorder and scattered thoughts that is this blog. To prove, I’ll say random things: peanut butter, thrice, alphebet soup misspelled on purpose. Also- don’t use generative AI, it’s bad for your brain and for the environment. Moving on.
So this ✨reflective✨ mood has given me a lot of words in my journal. No seriously, my journal is absolutely going CRAZY this year already. It’s probably because a lot of the heaviness I’ve felt. You guys know, I try to stay pretty positive, however, all the recent news events continually make me sad, mad, frustrated, depressed, exhausted, etc. Journaling helps. It’s not even the end of January and the words are flowing.
Are the words that are flowing even good? I mean "good" is relative! What is "good" for me, might not be the same "good" as you. But, no. No they are not good. It's mostly a random assortment of thoughts, prayers, and lists of stuff.
For those that know me in real life, (which I am hoping is everyone reading this; if you don't know me in real life, how did you get here? Who are you? Please leave me alone) you probably know I love to write. Nothing really has come out of it, and yet every year I put it as a goal of mine to write more. My Google Drive is filled with unfinished short stories, novels, essays, and outlines of possible written pieces for me to give a couple minutes to every once in a while.
I mostly write for me, but I also like writing for others to read. All I want is to help people with my words. Maybe give them something to think about, or chuckle at, or even roll their eyes at. I just want to use my words to encourage and help. You know what is crazy though? "Words of Affirmation" isn't even my love language; it's "Acts of Service" because like- do my dishes my for me, babe. 💁♀️
So lately, I seem to be praying for God to give me words. Because, it seems when I give myself the words, it SUUUUCKS. I'm bad at words on my own. But simply asking God to give me the words changes so much. And asking God for the words has extended into all other aspects of my life. I've been asking for the words to speak in my everyday life. Especially when the circumstances feel like there are no words. But asking for stuff is so annoying and a little embarrassing. Like, shouldn't I just KNOW what words to use for stuff?
I just think we are in a weird time right now. We are in a world where I often don't have the right— or what feels like the right words to say. Words of encouragement don't really come naturally in these days. The world is really sad. So how can my dumb little words help at all? It's like all you want to do is comfort and bring joy, but all the words that come out is: "that sucks, wanna hear joke?" And what is that going to do?! Not much, honestly! I know, because that is my natural reaction and that hasn't gone over as well as I have thought.
That is why I think we should all be praying for the words. We all need God's words right now. God's words are light, and hope, and love, and peace that surpasses all understanding. No one needs my silly dumb words; but there is more power when I asked for God to help me with my words. I find that I am quicker to understand and empathize when I take a minute and ask God to give me my words. And we need more empathy. We all need words of hope, love, and peace, and on my own, I certainly do not have those words. I’m grateful God does.
This blog was weird. But hopefully, THESE words did SOMETHING for SOMEONE. I’m not trying to say praying and asking for words to say is a quick fix for the horrors that persist. I’m also not saying to ignore it, and just try to be encouraging. I’m just saying, what could praying possible hurt? You might as well try it. And praying for the right words also helps me encourage myself in these really rough times.
I don’t know, man. I’m just saying what has helped me. And if this did nothing for you then, that sucks.
Wanna hear a joke?