Silly Conversations

 I'm writing a novel.  I have no idea where it is going and where it came from, but I am writing it nonetheless. I am still working out the main events and outline for this thing.  Guys.  I have no idea what I am doing.  This is like an actual novel and I really don't think it's going to even be good. I don't think it's going to make me much of any money. But I'm writing it.  It's loosely based on my life, very loosely. It's still fiction, but it has similar vibes.  The idea randomly came to me one random night and then since that moment I've just been pouring out the ideas for this story.  Writing is a wild thing. It's so personal and weird. I keep reading through what I have, thinking about how others might perceive this. But is that the way to do it? Or do you just put your story out there and see what happens? Do you just write it and simply not care how others see it and review it? I'm not even sure I am physically able to do that. Can I...

  Whatever you were expecting this blog to be from this title, I can almost guarantee, this won't be that.  As you may well know, I have no structure to these blogs. I mostly just write about what God is teaching me at this moment of my life. Right now, I am going through Proverbs. I'm not sure I exactly chose to go through Proverbs-- the study I am doing is just shoving Proverbs at me.  So I'm not sure if I'm reading Proverbs, or Proverbs is reading me.  It's not that I DON'T like Proverbs. It's just sometimes I read one and-- ya know when you find a meme that really hits, and you share it and say "Lol. Same." That's what reading Proverbs feels like. For example, I read this little gem the other day: I am too stupid to be human, and I lack common sense. Proverbs 30:2 Lol. Same.   I have read through all of proverbs officially. Do I feel any wiser? I don't know. Maybe? It's hard, right? Because I want to think I know how to live my life...

  I figure it's time to get weird again and talk about childbirth. I love a good birth story. I love hearing and reading everyone's birth story. I think it important for parents (moms and dads alike) to process childbirth. Because Lord knows it is such an intense moment for all of us, and each story of how we came into the world is unique, special, and important. I encourage everyone to share their story someday with someone- I'm happy to be the person that listens! I love this birth stuff.  I love this birth stuff so much that I am actually a trained doula and have been working toward becoming a birth educator. I use the term "working" loosely, as my full time English teacher gig, and ultimate full time mom gig eats up my entire time. However, I do continue to pray that God will open up opportunities to help out parents in this amazing thing we call childbirth. Childbirth is a big deal. Sometimes I think when we have kids that the childbirth part is something tha...

Anyone else get like hyper focused on becoming an author from grades 3-6? Like, you write a 6 page book about some weird fantasy character and then try to write some sequels thinking you were the next big name in fantasy novels? And then you kind of just forgot about them and fixated on some other random passion, like theater, or art, or marine biology? Just me? I don't really know what I am supposed to do with writing. I have a weird calling to write stuff, but like what? I have no clue.  Can I tell you a slightly weird, embarrassing story?  So when I was maybe 7 or 8, my mom was a camp director at a summer camp called Quaker Meadow. It's a camp that she had been working at since she was a teenager and, if I remember correctly, this was the first year I could be an actual camper. I don't have much of a memory from any of it really-- as my long term memory is spotty at best-- but I remember having quite the fun time. It was a church camp, so there was a lot of those typical...

It's been 84 years since my last blog post. Obviously not literally, but anything after March 2020 has its own timeline-- much like a kind of Marvelesque quantum universe. Yeah. I'm out of my league with this line of thought. I should probably just move on.  I want to catch up you up on so many things! (I say to no one reading this).  First of all, Elias and I had a second baby in November of 2020: Uriah Finn. He's awesome, but also crazy. Leo started Kinder in August of 2022. I am still working at the same school. And Elias is working in my district with the IT department. Yes. That's right. Elias is an IT nerd now.  I love having him at our district and on our schedule. Feeling super thankful about all of that. Those are the highlights. Of course, there have been some low lights.  Why did I start this re-reboot now? I've been feeling some feelings. Some sad feelings.  I've been going through bouts of depression again. And it's weird to talk about. I don...

"I am happier than a teacher on summer break!" -someone who has never taught. This is my 6th summer break as a full time teacher. And I should be thrilled to be on summer break, right?! I'm just not though. Here's my issue: I want to do so much. SO MUCH. I want to write. I want to read. I want to plan. I want to study. I want to chill. I want to sleep. I want to work out. I want to hang with friends. I want to teach my toddler things. I want to date my husband. I want to clean. I want to eat healthy. I want to meal prep. I want to start a project. I want to FINISH a project. I want to practice self care. I want doing creative stuff. I want to do some work stuff. And I want to start AND FINISH it all right now! But it's such a huge list, that I get overwhelmed and don't do any of it. I always feel like "I have all summer!" And then- I feel like you don't have to be super observant to know what's coming- SUMMER ENDS,...

How does tragedy shape us? How do bad things grow us? Physical pain, sucks. As I approach the big 3-0, my body is doing weird things. I used to get injured being active and dancing. Now I sneeze too hard, or sleep slightly wrong and I’m in pain for 5 whole days. However, emotional pain has nothing on physical pain. And this is coming from someone who was in labor for like 3 days. Emotional pain is something we have tried to describe. Writers everywhere have tried to come up with metaphors for emotional pain since Biblical times. Although some come close, no one can truly describe how it feels to have tragedy strike and feel the emotional pain. It’s a lesson we as believers have always heard and want to reconcile. We try to encourage those going through hard times with lessons of perseverance, lessons of endurance, of “running the good race” and “fighting the good fight.” We teach on Job, and how he lost everything and still praised God. None of this is new, but it helps. ...