Silly Conversations

 I don't have an idea for this blog.  That is why it's been a month or so since my last blog. In all transparency, I was working on a longer blog that I was updating daily about my decision to sign my contract or not for next school year. But then I ended up signing it and it's truly not an interesting blog. It was just like: "Should I? Nah. Well? Okay. Nah. Okay I will. I signed it. The end." So, now we're here, just waiting until the end of the year to finish and I am on the hook for next year. I could still leave, but breaking a contract not only gives me hives because of the ethic implications, but also there is a $2,500 fee attached to that which is NOT in my summer budget currently.  I am tired of teaching. But to be fair, it is April and I am ALWAYS tired of teaching in April. But I will say this April is different. Education is different. It's changed. A part of me knows that I will be called out of teaching soon. I don't see myself retiring as

 I'm writing a novel.  I have no idea where it is going and where it came from, but I am writing it nonetheless. I am still working out the main events and outline for this thing.  Guys.  I have no idea what I am doing.  This is like an actual novel and I really don't think it's going to even be good. I don't think it's going to make me much of any money. But I'm writing it.  It's loosely based on my life, very loosely. It's still fiction, but it has similar vibes.  The idea randomly came to me one random night and then since that moment I've just been pouring out the ideas for this story.  Writing is a wild thing. It's so personal and weird. I keep reading through what I have, thinking about how others might perceive this. But is that the way to do it? Or do you just put your story out there and see what happens? Do you just write it and simply not care how others see it and review it? I'm not even sure I am physically able to do that. Can I

  Whatever you were expecting this blog to be from this title, I can almost guarantee, this won't be that.  As you may well know, I have no structure to these blogs. I mostly just write about what God is teaching me at this moment of my life. Right now, I am going through Proverbs. I'm not sure I exactly chose to go through Proverbs-- the study I am doing is just shoving Proverbs at me.  So I'm not sure if I'm reading Proverbs, or Proverbs is reading me.  It's not that I DON'T like Proverbs. It's just sometimes I read one and-- ya know when you find a meme that really hits, and you share it and say "Lol. Same." That's what reading Proverbs feels like. For example, I read this little gem the other day: I am too stupid to be human, and I lack common sense. Proverbs 30:2 Lol. Same.   I have read through all of proverbs officially. Do I feel any wiser? I don't know. Maybe? It's hard, right? Because I want to think I know how to live my life

  I figure it's time to get weird again and talk about childbirth. I love a good birth story. I love hearing and reading everyone's birth story. I think it important for parents (moms and dads alike) to process childbirth. Because Lord knows it is such an intense moment for all of us, and each story of how we came into the world is unique, special, and important. I encourage everyone to share their story someday with someone- I'm happy to be the person that listens! I love this birth stuff.  I love this birth stuff so much that I am actually a trained doula and have been working toward becoming a birth educator. I use the term "working" loosely, as my full time English teacher gig, and ultimate full time mom gig eats up my entire time. However, I do continue to pray that God will open up opportunities to help out parents in this amazing thing we call childbirth. Childbirth is a big deal. Sometimes I think when we have kids that the childbirth part is something tha

Anyone else get like hyper focused on becoming an author from grades 3-6? Like, you write a 6 page book about some weird fantasy character and then try to write some sequels thinking you were the next big name in fantasy novels? And then you kind of just forgot about them and fixated on some other random passion, like theater, or art, or marine biology? Just me? I don't really know what I am supposed to do with writing. I have a weird calling to write stuff, but like what? I have no clue.  Can I tell you a slightly weird, embarrassing story?  So when I was maybe 7 or 8, my mom was a camp director at a summer camp called Quaker Meadow. It's a camp that she had been working at since she was a teenager and, if I remember correctly, this was the first year I could be an actual camper. I don't have much of a memory from any of it really-- as my long term memory is spotty at best-- but I remember having quite the fun time. It was a church camp, so there was a lot of those typical

It's been 84 years since my last blog post. Obviously not literally, but anything after March 2020 has its own timeline-- much like a kind of Marvelesque quantum universe. Yeah. I'm out of my league with this line of thought. I should probably just move on.  I want to catch up you up on so many things! (I say to no one reading this).  First of all, Elias and I had a second baby in November of 2020: Uriah Finn. He's awesome, but also crazy. Leo started Kinder in August of 2022. I am still working at the same school. And Elias is working in my district with the IT department. Yes. That's right. Elias is an IT nerd now.  I love having him at our district and on our schedule. Feeling super thankful about all of that. Those are the highlights. Of course, there have been some low lights.  Why did I start this re-reboot now? I've been feeling some feelings. Some sad feelings.  I've been going through bouts of depression again. And it's weird to talk about. I don